The short answer
Write a warm congratulations, one joke that suits the recipient and a specific thank-you. For a shared office card, keep it gentle: “Your out-of-office reply has finally reached its full potential.” Save rude designs and private jokes for someone whose humour you know.
Compare your options
Prices and availability reflect the catalogue. Open a product for its full description and photographs.
| Gift | What to expect | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Rude Retirement Card - Off You F*ck Then! Funny Greeting Card | Rude / Funny Retirement Greeting Card | £3.50 |
| Dad Joke A Week – 52 Joke Cards | 52 dad jokes Who it suits: Dads and pun lovers | £10.00 |
A closer look at the product
More catalogue photographs of Rude Retirement Card - Off You F*ck Then! Funny Greeting Card. Open the listing to see all images and the current product details.
01 / THE GUIDE
Match the joke to your relationship
A retirement card can be funny and still say something sincere. Start with a warm congratulations, add one joke the recipient will enjoy and finish with a personal thank-you. For a card signed by the whole office, choose wording that everyone can comfortably put their name beneath.
Keep jokes about age, health, money or private circumstances out unless you are certain they are welcome. A friendly line about meeting invites or the alarm clock usually gives you more room to be playful. The messages here are original suggestions for you to write, not a promise of printed personalisation.
02 / THE GUIDE
Gentle messages for a colleague
“Congratulations on retiring! May every meeting from now on involve cake and be entirely optional.”
“Enjoy your new role as Head of Doing Whatever You Fancy.”
“Your out-of-office reply has finally reached its full potential.”
“Wishing you a brilliant retirement and an alarm clock that gathers dust.”
03 / THE GUIDE
Cheekier messages for a close work friend
“You have escaped the meetings. Please send help for the rest of us.”
“Retirement: all the tea breaks, none of the pretending to be busy.”
“We will miss your expertise. And your ability to find biscuits.”
“Enjoy being unavailable for absolutely excellent reasons.”
04 / THE GUIDE
Finish with a real thank-you
Add a sentence that only you could write: mention something they taught you, a difficult day they helped with or a work memory you both still laugh about. A specific thank-you makes even a silly message feel thoughtful.
For example: “Thank you for helping me settle in when I started. I hope your retirement is full of the trips you have been planning.” Adapt the details to what is actually true rather than borrowing a memory that does not fit.
05 / THE GUIDE
Choose the card before the punchline
If the design is already rude, the inside message can be warm and straightforward. The Off You F*ck Then retirement card is a deliberately cheeky choice; read the visible wording and consider who will see it before giving it at a workplace celebration.
A gentle joke deck can be a separate small gift for someone who enjoys sharing puns. Check the current price, contents and delivery information before ordering for a leaving event. The items shown below are individual products, not a retirement gift bundle.
